WoW - wHaT a DaY

Today at work was enticingly stressful. SOme of the shit going down... I can't talk about it, of course, but it's kinda like, no quarter asked, despite some given :D For some people, it is just plain impossible to acknowledge a point while being able to maintain a distinctly contrary point to the one presented to them. These feeble half-wits are the bane and glory of my being.

Instead of anything to do with work, I'll share with you a little something I call play:

"Patrick's ongoing conversation with customer support"


I WRITE TO THEM

Dear Service Provider
My crack dealer,
My friend,

C*** **** (account login "****") has a Product account. However, roughly a month ago, he decided he would no longer like to play the game. With the remaining time on his account, until date, he has allowed my girlfriend to use the account in order to establish whether or not she would like to play Product. She has decided to continue playing, and that's why I'm writing.

I'm aware that account sales are not allowed. However, this is not a sale. As my friend, C*** has decided to relinquish his license to my girlfriend. I believe I read that if all the original materials were handed over from the original license holder to the new player, that the license could be transferred. My girlfriend would like to keep the progress she's made on the new characters she's created rather than start over.

Please note that if there is an issue with pre-existing character transfers, that the only character C*** created was named "****", and that all other chars on his account were created by my girlfriend.

I need information to provide to both parties in order to facillitate this transfer in terms of what steps they'll need to take. Please know that the original owner has already surrendered all the original materials to my girlfriend and its just a matter of getting her on her own payment schedule.

I love Product!

Warm regards,
Patrick Vance
user login: ****



THEY WRITE BACK

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Service Provider. Once the key is used and an account is created, that key is permanently tied to that account. In addition, the name listed on an account is considered to be the account's permanent owner. If you have recently acquired a used copy of Product or the details of an account from a friend, please contact the friend this game was acquired through to request an exchange or refund.

Please note that the selling **or transfer** of Product accounts, characters, and/or items is against the Terms of Use - (http://www.product.com/termsofuse.shtml). Any and all accounts found in violation of these Terms are subject to permanent closure. To avoid any such actions please return this account to the original owner.

If you added your payment information to this account and would like to be sure it is removed, Billing representatives are on hand to take your call Monday thru Friday between 9am and 6pm Pacific Time, at 1-800-**-SERVICE (800-PRODUCT). Customers in Australia should call 1-800-6#s?.

Service Provider highly recommends that our customers purchase unopened, sealed copies of Product to ensure the smoothest experience available. Thank you for you understanding in this matter.

Regards,

J***.
Billing & Account Services
http://www.serviceprovider.com/support/productbilling/?id=thingy


Customer satisfaction is a top priority here at Service Provider, and we would like your feedback on the level of service you have received. Please feel free to provide such feedback at the following web address: http://www.serviceprovider.com/support/surveything


I REPLY TO THEIR REPLY

Greeting J***

Please know that I have had my girlfriend (who lives with my aforementioned friend) return the account to the previous owner. The original and only owner, (they're in the middle of a sex/name change right now - big stressful events in his/her life) has decided to resume playing as soon as today. My girlfriend has decided that with your stringent policy on account ownership, she no longer wishes to play and will instead check out Competitor since they don't have the paid subscription action.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, and have a wonderful day or night answering endless emails.

Regards,
Patrick Vance.


I had to write to them again when...



Actually J***,

I have an additional concern with the policy statement you pasted and I want to ensure total accuracy.

Your email to Patrick included the following text:

"the selling **or transfer** of Product accounts, characters, and/or items is against the Terms of Use"

Before I begin, I would like to thank you for how helpful you've been in my time of need. As well, I'd like to let you know that I appreciate the double astericking you employed in your email to me to draw attention to the fact that your information had matching information to my subject of transferring.

Please know, that according to the English language, the passage you provided is composed of a blanket activity clause applied uniformly to several items. The following items, according to your statement, or both prohibited from being sold **and** transferred: accounts,characters,items.

I understand by your email that when people transfer items between characters in-product, characters of different and unique account owners, that this is against the terms of service.

Thank you for providing me with that information. I will notify everyone I care about on Product(which is Earth) that the most common use of the feature, to provide a means for people to transfer items, is prohibited according to J*** of Service Provider.

Could you please provide me with a link or means to report characters engaging in this practice. Additionally, is profanity prohibited on the Product? I would like a link or means to report profanity if it is prohibited on the Product as well.

Thank you and best wishes,

Patrick