3

“Hi? Is this the mental hospital?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can I speak to Mr. Vance in room three?
“One moment and I’ll connect you …. I’m sorry, Mr. Vance is not answering.”
“Good. That means I must have really escaped.”

Serves Ya Right!

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles’ bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
“I’m jus an ordinary man,” he said, walking up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”
The woman went home with Charles that night, and the next day she became his stepmother.

---

Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side?
He's alright now!

Classified

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."

Win free sex!

Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.

"How do we enter?" asked the first man.

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex."

"O.K. I guess 7, " said the first man.

"Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again"

The next week, the two men returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the second man asked the attendant if the contest was still going on.

"Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex."

"2" said the second man

"Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again."

As they walked back to the car, the first man said to the second man,"You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged."

"No way," said the second man. "My wife won twice last week."