Replicate
It's been a couple days now since my gf told me she's pregnant. We didn't plan it, and to tell the truth it kind of caught me off guard at the same time as I felt like I was ready for it all along.
The first few breezes speak of the winds of change to come. The hint of hurricanes and tornado's around the corner alluded to in its mildest of whistles. If not for the flutter of countless leaves one might almost doubt its presence, but once it's taken in the animations are really very numerous and vibrant.
Perhaps the task might be to create a life, the only life, that I might look at and say "Ok, maybe i'd have liked to be him or her a little more than I wanted to be myself"
How will I know the first change? How will I know when I actually feel like I have something to live for, because, despite how good at living I've been during the latest years of my life, I'm not particularly attached to life. Despite loving it, I could easily do without it. I'm no longer concerned by death, having long grown bored of worrying incessantly about whether it was soon to approach.
I am free. I am ready. I remain free to make another ready. Maybe my joy becomes more joy. Maybe my life becomes more life.
I speculate how my emotions will change in the months to come. With every passing day becoming passing months becoming growing certainty... Right now it's still easy to sport both casual disbelief and acceptance. Which one could/will diminish first?
The first few breezes speak of the winds of change to come. The hint of hurricanes and tornado's around the corner alluded to in its mildest of whistles. If not for the flutter of countless leaves one might almost doubt its presence, but once it's taken in the animations are really very numerous and vibrant.
Perhaps the task might be to create a life, the only life, that I might look at and say "Ok, maybe i'd have liked to be him or her a little more than I wanted to be myself"
How will I know the first change? How will I know when I actually feel like I have something to live for, because, despite how good at living I've been during the latest years of my life, I'm not particularly attached to life. Despite loving it, I could easily do without it. I'm no longer concerned by death, having long grown bored of worrying incessantly about whether it was soon to approach.
I am free. I am ready. I remain free to make another ready. Maybe my joy becomes more joy. Maybe my life becomes more life.
I speculate how my emotions will change in the months to come. With every passing day becoming passing months becoming growing certainty... Right now it's still easy to sport both casual disbelief and acceptance. Which one could/will diminish first?
Labels: Replication
